“Things change. And friends leave. Life doesn't stop for anybody.”
I sort of promised myself that I wouldn't use any Perks of Being a Wallflower quotes at the beginning of making this blog.
And gosh, look where I am. This is a sad day.
But, um, it sort of sums up my life right now. And I'm really ridiculously scared of change. Everything was perfect. And I'm really scared that right now I'm at the top of a roller coaster and if I make the slightest move it's going to come tumbling down to the bottom and I'll land at the bottom in a mess of broken pieces.
That's not how life works though. It's more like a wheel, really. Yes, you reach the top and you tumble off, but it catches you at the bottom and pushes you back to the top. You start all over again. Life starts all over again. Sort of like spring, I suppose. I hate when people leave. It's the one thing I'm scared of in the entire world, more than anything. And...people do leave. It's a fact, like the sky is blue and the grass is green. People leave.
But hey, I'll be okay. It's happened before, which sounds really stupid and sad, and maybe it is. It's the art of learning to bounce back, the chance to learn to fly. And I think I'm a stronger person because of it.
Life's pretty pathetic sometimes. Or maybe it's just me. But I don't want to sit and wait for people to come to me, because I feel like I'll be waiting my entire life if that happens. It's MY LIFE, not my life as it depends on other people. My mom and I were talking about this yesterday, and I was being a bit of a pain because I was complaining about what I said above. I have a habit of waiting for everyone else. It's the beginning of summer, the start of a new school year, and I'm going to go out and make my own life, not my life as defined by other people. You can't rely on other people, I've discovered (heck, that's why I hate group projects so much). People are nice, but I am my own person with my own life and my own agenda.
So I'm really scared about tomorrow and Thursday and all the days to follow. But I also can't just sit there waiting for the other foot to drop.
I'll be okay. Life moves on.
Love, Rachel
Tags continued: yes your friends do love you insanely much, and we have awesome boy band music, and no, we are not going to worry about you but instead know that you are indeed, a human, however perfect and entirely put together you seem. ;) And that is beautiful.
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